Sparks of Light in the Darkness

Sparks of light in the darkness are what keep you pushing. Those little glimmers of hope, or something to grab on to when you can’t see or don’t know if you’re going to make it. Events, races, possibilities of what could still be achieved, building my empire, helping and inspiring others; those are my sparks of light in the darkness.

Life is a continuous rollercoaster of events. It’s an ever flowing river of emotions with curves, bends, narrowing streams, and large falls. What keeps us pushing through the falls, the dark tunnels, and the bends we can’t see beyond? Those little sparks of light, and a hell of a lot of hope. That’s what pushes us forward. It’s fear that leaves us behind, makes us repeat the insanity, or perhaps we find a comfortable spot along the journey, and we stay a little too long while the flow keeps pushing. Life doesn’t stop around you. You’re here for the ride, so you might as well jump on and enjoy it the best you can.

Let’s get back to those sparks of light. The little things each day that make you smile, that bring you a speck of happiness, a spark of light in the darkest hour. It’s the things we all thing of most, our spouse, kids, grandkids, etc. Your sparks are personal and individual to each of us.  For me, my surroundings of hot rods, and those that understand and accept my obsessive car life. It’s my upcoming events, future adventures, and the outings with people that I get to share my story with and help inspire.

A spark can even be an event that I’m on the calendar to host or emcee, but perhaps they cancelled because of my health. Bummer! Double edge sword for both of us. These events push me, because I love the audience, the microphone, talking to lovely people, and when you lose that, the spark dims and disappears. That event you kept pushing for because you love it, the people, the place, the everything, it no longer needs or wants you, and the world goes on. Your light is literally dimming, and you lose that spark that was shining in the darkness. I really think this is one of my biggest fears, losing my identity, my sparks of light. I’m not ready for this part.

I need those little sparks of light.... I’ve been so sick. So sick that sometimes we don’t know of it’s going to be more than a few days or a few weeks. Then we have a few days where I pop back a little, i manage, function for a week with videos, work, events, and then one of the flair ups begin again. We know I don’t have more than a few years, if that.  We get that. But if we can get those reserves up enough here and there in the mean time, and not get super sick with the flu or a bad bug, I will indeed have a couple more years. However, the flair ups can last until I’m gone...this one hasn’t stopped, they dont know if it will, and if it doesn’t or I don’t get enough reserves when the next one hits, that will be my demise. Now you see why I need those little sparks of light.

Racing! Yes, drag racing is one of my sparks. Not just to be at the track, to race down the quarter or eight mile, like my father and his father did. Banging through the manual gears in our big block Chevy, feeling the torque pull me back in the seat, watching the metal flake glisten under the track lights. Yes, drag racing is one of my sparks. That’s my drive, my spark! I’m racing the Nova! The Atomic Fireball will have me behind the wheel at Dragway 42. That is where I got my spark of life and that I where I will finally throw some horsepower and lay some rubber!

Sparks of light make me feel alive. They give me hope, purpose, meaning. Sparks can even be people. What a beautiful soul someone must have if they are a spark to another.  ❤️❤️

Kandi

01/03/2020